Loved every bit of advice here. Write the damn book!! Yes, that above all. It's one of those things that you know you will regret one day, and that is my biggest fear--running out of time and having regrets.
I think so much of this time of life (I’m 53) is about loss and change, and I guess I didn’t realize what a profound amount of those things there would be. I’ve lost both parents in the last few years, my mother’s passing was brutal due to ALS, and my dad’s brought up a lifetime of trying to figure out how to be in a relationship with a narcissist without losing my mind. My son, my firstborn, went to college in September and it has been a strange thing being in the house without him. Not seeing him every day after almost 18 years of seeing him every day. And Tuesday our 12-year-old dog died.
I just sent an email to my daughter’s high school asking them to excuse her early because she texted me crying from the bathroom. I told her to come home, put on pajamas and watch shitty tv, or read, or do whatever she wanted to do. I’m scared to death about the election. I’m in the den where our dog would normally be curled up at my feet in a patch of sun. The tears flow these days the same way I breathe in and breathe out. I used to try not to be too vulnerable, but I’ve given that up because it’s futile. I’m in perimenopause and thought I was heading toward being done, but got my period like clockwork the last two cycles. There’s no formula for any of this, but I do feel sometimes we women are holding up the sky. Taking care of everyone and trying to take care of ourselves and the world and also write or whatever it is we’re doing. It’s no surprise we’re exhausted, and there isn’t enough conversation about it all so it’s easy to feel alone. I loved your “Pinterest board” I nodded at every line. There are probably more of us crying in our dens than we realize. Sending you love.
This is wonderful thank you. So so many of us crying in our den. It feels heavy to be human right now but I feel more than ever that we have each other's backs. xxx
I love this Sam. I want to talk to women in their 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s so so much. I am 49 and have been feeling such a sense of pounding ...weirdness? Anxiety in bits, yes, tonnes of depression, that's an old familiar character, but also just this sense of...weird. And reading this beautiful piece of writing reminds me for the millionth time that sharing our shit matters so much. It's life changing, actually. Possibly life saving, actually.
Honestly, my late 40s were the nadir. I have learnt and gained so much from talking to women for the podcast, but particularly the older ones who have really survived again and again. How much of the weird, do you think, is living through the run up to this US election, on its doorstep?
Loved the wise simplicity of these. I guess mine would be ‘Be open to the possibility that the thing that scares you the most may well be the thing that saves your life’ (or changes it for the better). In my case it’s been both literal and figurative.
Love ‘When your gran said, “no-one’s looking at you”, she was right’. My favourite other saying is ‘Don’t compare the inside of your life to the outside of others’
I absolutely needed to hear this today - especially the ones about self-loathing and people pleasing.
I'm still a recovering people pleaser and "You are not for everyone. 48 years of trying to be is more than enough" is going to be my new mantra!! I'm 48 and i am done
This knocks Baz Luhrmann's "Sunscreen" into a cocked hat 🤣
Cheering you from the sidelines, sam - bloody LOVED all of this.
Loved every bit of advice here. Write the damn book!! Yes, that above all. It's one of those things that you know you will regret one day, and that is my biggest fear--running out of time and having regrets.
I think so much of this time of life (I’m 53) is about loss and change, and I guess I didn’t realize what a profound amount of those things there would be. I’ve lost both parents in the last few years, my mother’s passing was brutal due to ALS, and my dad’s brought up a lifetime of trying to figure out how to be in a relationship with a narcissist without losing my mind. My son, my firstborn, went to college in September and it has been a strange thing being in the house without him. Not seeing him every day after almost 18 years of seeing him every day. And Tuesday our 12-year-old dog died.
I just sent an email to my daughter’s high school asking them to excuse her early because she texted me crying from the bathroom. I told her to come home, put on pajamas and watch shitty tv, or read, or do whatever she wanted to do. I’m scared to death about the election. I’m in the den where our dog would normally be curled up at my feet in a patch of sun. The tears flow these days the same way I breathe in and breathe out. I used to try not to be too vulnerable, but I’ve given that up because it’s futile. I’m in perimenopause and thought I was heading toward being done, but got my period like clockwork the last two cycles. There’s no formula for any of this, but I do feel sometimes we women are holding up the sky. Taking care of everyone and trying to take care of ourselves and the world and also write or whatever it is we’re doing. It’s no surprise we’re exhausted, and there isn’t enough conversation about it all so it’s easy to feel alone. I loved your “Pinterest board” I nodded at every line. There are probably more of us crying in our dens than we realize. Sending you love.
This is wonderful thank you. So so many of us crying in our den. It feels heavy to be human right now but I feel more than ever that we have each other's backs. xxx
I love this Sam. I want to talk to women in their 50s and 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s so so much. I am 49 and have been feeling such a sense of pounding ...weirdness? Anxiety in bits, yes, tonnes of depression, that's an old familiar character, but also just this sense of...weird. And reading this beautiful piece of writing reminds me for the millionth time that sharing our shit matters so much. It's life changing, actually. Possibly life saving, actually.
Honestly, my late 40s were the nadir. I have learnt and gained so much from talking to women for the podcast, but particularly the older ones who have really survived again and again. How much of the weird, do you think, is living through the run up to this US election, on its doorstep?
That time passes very quickly so, "write the damn book" :)
I really really should!
“You know what’s more poisonous than all the stimulants in the world? Self-loathing.”
So, so true. I really enjoyed this.
If I had to tell myself something it would be;
The more self-discipline you have, the more freedom. Everything is a paradox.
That is so true. I’ll adopt that.
That you can go and do things on your own and the world won't fall apart or the kids starve!
It doesn't matter that you haven't found your 'thing' yet, you will, you still have time.
You are not going mad, the anxiety is perimenopause.
And then add most of yours too Sam! x
Love this, Sam. It warrants framing 👌
Loved the wise simplicity of these. I guess mine would be ‘Be open to the possibility that the thing that scares you the most may well be the thing that saves your life’ (or changes it for the better). In my case it’s been both literal and figurative.
I love that. It’s spot on
Loved this! Thank you. I also need to tell myself to “write the damn book”.
Love ‘When your gran said, “no-one’s looking at you”, she was right’. My favourite other saying is ‘Don’t compare the inside of your life to the outside of others’
I love that. and so much harder to do now thanks to Instagram
I absolutely needed to hear this today - especially the ones about self-loathing and people pleasing.
I'm still a recovering people pleaser and "You are not for everyone. 48 years of trying to be is more than enough" is going to be my new mantra!! I'm 48 and i am done
I am so pleased! Good luck x
Love this, my hair is now beige too by the way...
Sucks, doesn’t it?!
Made me feel a bit drab so going blonder
Yes! Makes me feel… beige. But I don’t have the commitment to dye
Beige here too 🙋♀️ attempting to counteract it with thick framed glasses and a bold lip but I really do miss the ginger.
I’m doing exactly that too 😞
Love the “If you don’t want to do it tomorrow..” one, I often use that to stop over booking / people pleasing.
Another one we often use in our house is “The main thing, is to make the main thing the main thing”
Ooh I like that!
Wise word. Loved them all.