What is a scary woman?

And why do we assume being scary is a bad thing?

From left to right: Bernardine Evaristo, Deborah Levy, Margaret Atwood – smart-not-scary women

Are you a scary woman? I am, apparently. Or so I’ve been told, repeatedly, over the years. The first time I was surprised, dismayed even. Lil ol’ me? Scary? But I’m nice! Approachable! And if I don’t look it, well it’s just my pesky resting bitch face! Quite why I was in quite such a rush to prove them wrong, that I was, in fact, a pussy cat, I'm not sure, but I fell over myself to do so all the same.

But when it happened again, recently, (when TBH I’ve been feeling anything but scary), I stopped to wonder what it really meant to be called “a scary woman”, and what we are actually saying when we call another woman scary. The "called" is important here because there’s quite the difference between being scary and being perceived as scary.

I do it myself…