Are you a success-aholic?
What younger women can teach us about overcoming our obsession with success
At the end of every episode of The Shift podcast, I ask my guest the same five questions, the third of which is this: What advice would you give younger women? The answers, as you might imagine, are as diverse as the women being questioned, but they are often take one of three forms:
• don’t be afraid to take up space.
• don’t waste time worrying what other people think.
• don’t spend your life trying to please other people.
I’ve had that same question fired back at me more times than I can mention and I’ve probably given a different answer every time. But gradually I’ve realised that I keep drifting back to a single answer. One that, in a way, encapsulates all three. And one that I know for sure I would have ignored. And that is this: You might not like the view from the top if/when you get there, so don’t sacrifice everything for the climb.
It took me a long time - far too long - to realise that. Because, apart from anything else, what even is “the top”? Yes, editing a national magazine is an amazing job and one I count myself extremely lucky to have had, but when you’re a success junkie as I was (now in recovery but occasionally falling off the wagon) there is always more. A better magazine. A bigger magazine. One that’s more respected. (Although by who is a whole other question.) One you probably don’t have any real interest in editing but feel you should for some arbitrary reason involving other people’s priorities.
But I’m moving too fast. Let me backtrack. Because who defines what success looks like? Why are we (some of us!) obsessed with it? And what does it cost to step away from it? Is there, in fact, another way?