How would you mark turning 50?

Party? Holiday? Dinner with friends? Not if your name is Gwyneth

Gwyneth, celebrating 50 by being spray-painted gold (Pic: Andrew Yee)

Gwyneth has turned 50. In case you hadn’t noticed. (What rock have you been under? Budge up, I’m coming in). And to celebrate, has she gone on a margarita-fuelled bender? Thrown a wild weekend-long party? Pigged out on dairy? Nope, nope and nope again. (As far as we know anyway. It’s so far off-brand, I’m pretty sure she’d never let us know if she had.) She has had her naked self spray-painted gold. And then been photographed by a Vogue cover photographer. For herself, not for the viewing public, you understand. This is strictly a female gaze kinda thing. Alongside giving countless interviews about how great being 50 is. (On that, I'm with her.)

Now before we go any further, I'm not in the business of knocking Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes, Goop works my nerves with its cod-science a…