Books to help you traverse the tricky middle

Caught in a midlife maelstrom without a map/ paddle/ parachute/ whatever? Look no further

I was really at a loss when it came to choosing a picture

A couple of years ago there was some research doing the rounds that said 47.2 was the nadir. That was the age life plummeted. The point of peak misery. I can’t remember who conducted it, but that doesn’t really matter. The point is more that the idea took hold and it took hold because, in my experience at least, it was a little too close to the truth. 47 (not sure why .2 particularly) and 46 and 48 and arguably 49 absolutely sucked. There were plenty of reasons for that, largely revolving around the fact of perimenopause without a paddle/ guidebook/ map/ compass/ parachute or whatever your steering method of choice looks like. Not that I knew that was what it was at the time, because back then, eight or so years ago, we still lived in a world where perimenopause wasn’t a thing, menopause was hot flushes and that was that, and HRT was verboten. So there I was, at 47.2, losing my marbles and not knowing why and in the midst of professional upheaval. After decades of trying I’d finally been pointed in the direction of a gynaecologist who could put a label on my lifelong gynaecology problems (adenomyosis, fibroids, polyps - more here should you be interested) and, almost as a direct consequence of that, finally deciding to confront the “stuff” I had resolutely avoided for the best part of 30 years. Cue: meltdown.

So yes, 47.2. Less than ideal.

At almost every pinch-point in my life I have known where to turn: books. Ever since I was a wee bookworm, the written word has never let me down. Until, it seemed, now. I went in search of other women’s experience, advice, sustenance, camaraderie - and I found… Germaine Greer’s The Change. Clocking in at a very much not page turning 500-ish pages of pretty small type.

There were novels, of course, that addressed the malaise that often struck women in midlife, often in a roundabout way. (Nora Ephron springs to mind. Surprise!) But nothing that really spoke to me as I stared down the barrel of menopause and middle age. I wasn’t especially looking for a menopause guide, more the promise of a life out the other side, but damned if I could find it.

What a difference an almost decade makes. Now, beloved Shifters, whether you’re looking for a map, a compass or a door where you thought there was only a wall, you’re spoilt for choice. Here are a few that resonated with me…